Dumb Japanese scientists

Japanese marine biologists, particularly whale experts, must be the dumbest scientists around. While whale experts from other countries don't need to find such large numbers of samples (i.e. hunt for more whales), Japanese whale experts need to harvest hundreds, nearly a thousand, whales every year.

Of course, the whole harvesting whales for scientific research thing is a big joke, a front for Japan's whaling industry. These specimens end up on Japanese dinner plates, or bowls, or whatever the hell they eat out of.

I object to reasoning along the lines of "whaling is part of Japanese culture" or "whale meat is an essential part of the Japanese diet." There are lots of things that we used to do but no longer do. Like beheading.

It angers me that China is severely rebuked for the damage it does to the environment while countries like Japan and the US get away with sneakily evading a whaling moratorium and refusing to sign the Kyoto Protocol - actually, I guess they're criticised too. I'm not saying that China is right to pollute its rivers, turn a blind eye to trade in endangered animal parts, or burn more and more fossil fuels, though. And to be fair, Japan does a hell of a lot more than the vast majority of countries when it comes to environmental protection. Even several decades ago, when US carmakers were making ONLY gas guzzlers, Japanese carmakers were already making cars with great fuel economy.

I must also admit that the minke whale, of which Japanese whalers catches several hundred per year, is not considered endangered. Also, we must give Japan SOME credit for being a member of the International Whaling Commission, the body that issued a moratorium on commercial whaling in 1986. We can't say the same for Norway, which does not abide by this ban. However, Japan's use of scientific research as an excuse to harvest whale meat sets a dangerous precedent for other whale species and for environmental protection laws.

Anyway, if I become a billionaire, I would hire hundreds of quick and maneuverable boats that would follow these Japanese whaling ships. These boats would be equipped with underwater speakers that would announce pre-recorded messages in different whale languages - the message would be: "Stay away from the big ship. Watch out for the harpoons." Is that possible? Can we record whale language? Can we synthesize it? I suppose I could also hire Indonesian pirates to board these whaling ships, then tie-up the "scientists", put them onto hot air balloons, then sell the ships to poor African countries for cut-rate prices. I normally think that eco-terrorists are quacks, but combining environmentalism with a big "fuck you" to Japan should be fun.