Deceit, guilt, pity, callousness

Last month, after walking up a flight of steps, I ran into some charity workers who were soliciting donations. Normally, I could see such people (e.g. people who solicit donations, beg for money, hand out flyers, want me to fill out a survey, want me to join their quack religion, etc.)from a mile away and can usually avoid them, but that time, since I didn't want to lose my footing on those steps, I was looking at my feet. Anyway, one of the charity workers approached me and said, in Cantonese, "Excuse me, sir, have you heard of...", during which I interrupted him and said, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese." Usually, such deceit would end the conversation, whether in Taiwan, Mainland China, Korea, and even in Hong Kong. However, this guy started saying, in fluent, North American-accented English, "That's okay, I can speak English." Damn. Trapped.

At that point, I regretted not saying, "Je suis desolee, je ne parle pas Chinois," and felt it was too late to use that tactic. I also felt that this guy caught me fair and square, and I felt guilty for trying to deceive him, so at the very least, I felt that I should listen to what he had to say.

Anyway, this particular organisation provides treatment and support to people with AIDS in Hong Kong. The guy said that in Hong Kong, there is still a strong stigma attached to people with HIV/AIDS, and talked about the AIDS cocktail, social support, etc. Anyway, since I felt like this guy caught me fair and square, and because he talked to me for about five minutes already, I decided to give the guy $20 HKD (about $3 CAD) and be on my way. Even if this were a scam, at least 1. these guys came up with something relatively original and 2. they went to great lengths to set up their display, print their flyers, and be able elaborate on all this AIDS stuff. And since they had someone so fluent in English, someone who could do anything else in Hong Kong, I began to believe that these guys were real volunteers and not grifters. So anyway, I tried to give this guy a $20, but...

... the guy said, "Sorry, we don't take one-time donations. Actually, we hope that you can make regular monthly donations that works out to less than what you pay for a cup of coffee per day." It worked out to something like $10 HKD per day or something, which is $300 HKD a month. Whoa.. $300 HKD a month? That's almost $50 CAD a month! And hell, why should I give up my one cup of coffee per day? In fact, I ALREADY give up my one cup of coffee per day! No, I'm TOO POOR to afford a cup of coffee per day! Why should I give up my coffee money to people who have AIDS? If they KNOW that people like me are unwilling to do without our coffee or coffee money, then why weren't they more careful before they got AIDS??

Callous, I know.

I'm surprised at how quickly my emotions could change. I do pity people who have HIV/AIDS, but the thought of parting with $50 CAD per month made it clear that my sense of pity DOES have its boundaries. I do feel guilty that I'm not helping people who need help, which is why I haven't forgotten this particular episode. Or perhaps I can't forget this episode because I want to remind myself to speak French next time.