Karaoke and karaoke etiquette
Karaoke is something that some people absolutely love but yet others utterly utterly hate. It's something that I used to absolutely despise, but I absolutely love it now. Those of us who live in Asia know that it's an inescapable part of life here.
For those who are clueless about karaoke, it involves a room, a microphone, a TV screen, and music videos with the singing blocked out and with the song lyrics displayed on screen. While this phenomenon is not a particular popular pastime in North America and Europe, it is extremely popular in most Asian countries, and still is after being introduced here a couple of decades ago. Having lived in Taiwan, China, and now Hong Kong, I've determined that Taiwanese karaoke parlours are the best. Partyworld, the karaoke chain formerly known as Cash Box, is the best chain I know of. The branches in Beijing even have 24 buffets!
I was first forced to endure karaoke in the ninth grade when a bunch of Taiwanese girls invited me to join them . It was TORTURE! I chose a song and waited with dread as it moved closer and closer in the queue. After torturing myself with dreadful anticipation, I tortured the Taiwanese girls with my off-key rendition of "I Just Called to Say I Love You". Stevie Wonder would not have been pleased. The experience was so embarrassing that I was put off from karaoke for YEARS. The second and third times I was invited to karaoke, I lost my nerve and made hasty exits within a few minutes of arriving, always coming up with not-so-ingenius excuses.
Ten years after my ninth grade "I Just Called to Say I Love You" disaster, I was working for the Canadian government in Taiwan. My Taiwanese coworkers invited me to join them in singing KTV, as it is known in Taiwan and Mainland China, and I happily agreed. Why? A very tall and beautiful coworker (but an older woman) invited me to go. I didn't have the guts to ask her out on a date (probably because she was unavailable at the time), and here she was, inviting ME!
A funny thing happened at Cash Box that night - I didn't bomb! I chose songs that included Nat King Cole's "Unforgettable"， 如果这都不算爱 by 张学友、and 浪人情歌 by 伍佰, and I pulled it off! I also picked "Yesterday Once More" by the Carpenters, but learned not to pick certain songs sung by women, and also "Vincent" by Don McLean, and learned not to choose slow songs that can bore peoples' pants off.
Since my karaoke rebirth, I've been going to karaoke parlours more and more often. When friends invite me to sing with them, I do not hesitate (except when they choose to go during the most expensive hours). I've learned that it's much much cheaper to go in the daytime, usually around 40-50 yuan for 3 hours of singing in the afternoon. It costs more or less the same in Hong Kong.
Now that I'm a karaoke veteran, I've learned a thing or two about proper karaoke etiquette. It's okay to laugh WITH mediocre singers, but not AT them, even if they're really really really bad. Everybody in the room MUST sing; otherwise, what are they doing there? But the most annoying rule, the rule I find that is most often broken, is that people shouldn't select more than one song at a time. I'm furious every time I have to listen to one person sing two, three, sometimes four or five songs in a row! Why can't they be more considerate and let other people select songs first? What pisses me even more is when these people sing several songs, then complain and say, "oh, I'm so tired.." THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU PICK SO MANY GODDAMNED SONGS, YOU GODDAMNED SONOFABITCH??!!
posted by krazykrankyken @ 10:36 p.m.
7 comments
7 Comments:
ha, are u putting this up to warn me?
I really hate it when you get a karaoke box, and everyone feels obliged to smoke, turning the room into a hot box where you can't even open your eyes to read the lyrics. I had to mumble through a song, before finally opening the door and singing from outside. That drew odd looks from the staff and incoming guests. Of course, being in Japan, the staff were too polite to give me dirty looks.
Another thing I hate is excessive drinking+karaoke. It may be fun to slur through a song, but it's far worse when you're someone else suffering through it.
Remember - friends don't let friends drink & karaoke.
P.S. What makes karaoke commercials even worse is that they take up your valuable time limit...which you have paid for! What are they, five minutes long!?
Sorry, Ken. You seem to have struck a nerve talking about HK karaoke.
HAHAHA! No Eva, I don't think you're selfish and inconsiderate enough to put me through more than 2 songs in a row. At least not after reading this email.
Vince, I really DID strike a nerve here. I don't have any new complaints to match your's, but I've got to say that I can't stand it when people choose Backstreet Boys songs (they're really popular among guys in China), but I don't mind at all when people choose Spice Girls songs. It's strange!
And I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT when Chinese people sing Japanese songs, especially when they don't actually know Japanese and have just heard the songs over and over and over and can recite them. Stupid. But that doesn't include you, Vince, since you've lived in Japan and actually do understand the stupid lyrics.
People often pick several songs at once because they come from the same singer. You just jump queue if you want to sing a particular song first. If someone is bitchy about it, just say that you think him/her would appreciate a little rest after singing so many songs.
Once you understand Japanese, the lyrics on most J-pop songs aren't that complicated. You can recognize some common phrases (cliches?) in a lot of the songs.
Hell, I've seen Japanese ppl sing English songs without being able to read English. They just read the katakana written on top of the English lyrics. Spoken katakana English is hard to hear, but singing katakana English GODAWFUL. Just think of that Fuji guy from the Super Dave Osborne Show singing. Yes. That bad.
If you really can't stand someone putting in several songs at once, just press the CANCEL button on the remote. It may not guarantee that you will go to karaoke with those people again, but that may be a good thing.
At least Japanese people are polite enough to go one song at a time.
While in Mainland, there's no commercials between songs. Thank God. But people do like singing Karaoke there, too.
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