Farewell, grandma...

My grandma passed away in her sleep yesterday morning. The cancer she has been battling for almost 4 years has finally claimed her. She's a tough woman - in December 2001, her doctors told us she had only 6-12 months to live.

My grandma was a very pleasant person. She immigrated to Canada when my brother and sister were born, and lived with us until my younger cousins were born. She raised all of my siblings and cousins on my dad's side of the family, showering us with her love and concern whether we were naughty or nice.

My family has been coping well, so my dad says. My dad is a respected scholar of Buddhism, and he tries to help my relatives and my family understand death better. He has made me understand the Indian notion of death - that death is a part of life, is natural, and is not a bad thing. We've all seen my grandma suffer in the last few years of her life, particularly this last year, so we're happy to know that she suffers no more.

I will not go back to Vancouver for the funeral. My dad told me not to. He and my mom have always said that as long as I treat people with respect while they are alive, I don't have to make empty gestures to them when they are gone. Often, it is those who have reason to feel guilty who make the grandest gestures after someone dies.

My grandma would want me to continue to live my life happily. I will miss her, but all I can do is remember her as an important person in my life and to try to be the kind of person that she has always wanted me to be.