My pain-in-the-ass neighbour

My neighbour has been an ass lately, and I got so fed up this afternoon that I fired this off to him:


Hi William,

Just as you once said that you hope we should be able to be open and civilized enough to discuss any issues that may arise between us - and I appreciate your frankness in discussing any problems you have had with me - I hope you will be receptive to some suggestions from me. First of all, I apologize if I have woken you when I showered between midnight and 1 am a few times in the last week. I was screening rather long movies last week, and went out last weekend. This week, I've been working in my office from mid-morning to late at night, usually midnight. As I said the last time you asked me to shower at an earlier hour (in November), I told you that I'd do the best that I can do. I feel that I've been quite accomodating of this request, but I can't, however, change my lifestyle. I can tell you right now that I will probably have to work late in my office about half of the time. Also, I sometimes like to go on midnight hikes with my girlfriend or play badminton until 1030 pm, then go out for a late dinner; therefore, it is difficult for me to shower before 11pm sometimes.

To be frank, I feel that you're asking for too much when you ask me to shower at an earlier hour - you're asking me to change my lifestyle. I've never asked you to shower at a later hour, and I never will. If you feel that our lifestyles are so fundamentally different, then you have three options available to you: 1. you can ask to be relocated to another room in Graduate House, 2. you can find private housing, or 3. you can wear earplugs when you sleep. I have every right to take a shower or flush the toilet late at night. I know of other residents at Graduate House who complain that their neighbours make the entire bathroom wet, or sing in the shower, or slam the doors loudly. I do none of these things.

While we are expressing our concerns, I'd like to point out some other things:

-with increasing frequency, you've been locking the bathroom door and forgetting to open it

-your idea to not turn on the fan in the bathroom causes the bathroom tobe very humid for up to half a day after you shower - the mirror, toilet seat, and even the walls become quite wet. Furthermore, the air becomes very stale

-you've been leaving the toilet lid up after using the toilet, perhaps even while flushing. When a toilet flushes and the bowl refills with water, water droplets tend to rise from the bowl, and will stick to surfaces such as the mirror, our towels, our toothbrushes, etc. Also, the bathroom may stink on occasion

-you don't flush the toilet sometimes, usually at night. There's no need to save water because the Graduate House toilets flush with seawater. If you're worried about noise, I won't be waken up by the sound of toilets flushing. (there's a strong ammonia smell in the mornings)

-you've been keeping too much stuff in the bathroom. There's no need for 3 tubes of toothpaste and 2 bottles of mouthwash, for example. The stuff you don't use frequently can be put in the cupboard behind the toilet, or if it doesn't fit, you can leave it in your room


And one last thing, if you really don't mind my frankness: I don't mind buying toilet paper for the two of us. I prefer the 2 or 3 ply premium paper that I've been able to buy at a bargain price. (I've already told you guys about "Goldfinger")

As you said to me before, I hope that we can learn to live together more harmoniously by being able to communicate to each other more openly. I hope you can accept the suggestions and criticism I have brought up.

Sincerely,


Ken