Two techniques to add to your urban sport-walking arsenal

After enduring/enjoying a self-imposed 3 day quarantine in my dorm room (except for trips to the canteen and to the water fountain downstairs), I joined my aunt for afternoon tea in Causeway Bay today. Since today is a public holiday - most people in Hong Kong WORK on Saturdays - the crowds were heavier than usual. Stores, malls, restaurants, and sidewalks were packed with people.

It is exactly when sidewalks are packed that people shouldn't walk at a leisurely pace or to try to "own" the sidewalk. Unless you're a toddler or you're old and/or incapacitated, you should try really hard to stay out of peoples' way, especially where there may be bottlenecks. Today, I rediscovered two old friends of mine: "kicking heel" and the "no-look hit".

"Kicking heel" is a technique I perfected in Taiwan. Whenever slow-moving people walking in front of me blocked my way, I would aim my step at the heel of one such unfortunate pedestrian. Believe me, these people felt it. They would inevitably stop in their tracks while their friends would keep walking, leaving me a gap wide enough to walk through. On my way through, the victim would give me a glare, and I'd pretend to apologize, but I often give a menacing parting glance. Was it an accident? Maybe. Probably not. Don't block peoples' way, BITCH!

You may have heard of the "no-look pass" in basketball. My not-yet-patented "no-look hit" is similar. If I see oncoming people walking straight into my path, and if I consider them hit-worthy, I pretend to be looking at a girl across the street or at a store window, and KABLAMO! Again, a falso apology, but a menacing parting glance. Was it an accident? I certainly don't think so. Watch where you're going, bitch!

I'm pretty sure I wasn't like this before I moved to Asia.